Packing on the el-bees.


November 12, 2013 by bestdayevar

El-bees… as in LBs… as in poundage, gurrrrl.

Before I was pregnant, I imagined a lot of things about my future pregnancy, one of them being that I would only gain the bare minimum amount of weight, MAYBE LESS. I would lose weight in the first trimester! I would do like 10,000 squats every day and eat only raw vegetables WITH NO RANCH DRESSING and organic chicken breasts and would not under any circumstances blow up to 3 times my pre-pregnancy size!

But that’s… not happening.

I mean, it’s not like I’m binging on syrup or anything.

In general, I’m eating pretty healthy — lots of lean protein and veggies and fruits like you’re supposed to. My go-to snacks are an apple with almond butter, string cheese, or veggies and hummus. I even cut out breakfast cereal recently after one of the midwives said, “If you’re eating cereal, you’re basically eating a cookie for breakfast” because of the sugar. I always look for the hippie cereals with the least amount of sugar already, but supposedly it might as well be Cookie Crisp? Ugh. So I replaced cereal with Greek yogurt and raspberries.

But the grim truth is, sometimes I also eat potato chips. Or garlic bread. Or a cookie. Or, occasionally A FRENCH FRY. In moderation! But in the first trimester I was feeling horrible, so all I could eat was grilled cheese sandwiches, pancakes, mashed potatoes, and fudge bars NOT in moderation. I also could not bring myself to work out whatsoever in the slightest, besides the laps I was doing from couch to the bathroom.

Because of all that, I am (almost!) 24 weeks pregnant and I have already gained 21 pounds. I am only supposed to gain a total of 25 – 35 pounds by the time I squeeze this kid out, and my math isn’t great but I think at this rate I will probably gain eleventy hundred pounds by then. Or, realistically if I gain a pound a week from here on out, probably 40.

At my last prenatal appointment, I got a gentle talking-to from the midwife about how to keep my weight gain in check. (My husband says it was hardly a talking-to, but that’s just because he’s not a woman who lives in second-by-second fear of getting too fat or being judged for his weight. Also, he likes to point out that his mom gained 60 pounds while pregnant and our kid has those genes in there, so I should just surrender and let it happen. In case that’s true, I find comfort in the fact that she lost it all really quickly and is still super slender, even in her 60s.)

I don’t think 40 pounds is COMPLETELY insane (is it?), but I am nothing if not a rule-follower and approval-seeker and A+-earner at heart. On a purely physical level, I’m not really bothered by gaining more weight than I’m supposed to. I still look more or less like myself with the exception of this bump. (At least for now. Although I did have to buy all new, larger underwear because my ass is expanding, but still, I think my ass looks just fine.) I’m working out at least 2-3 times a week, more when I can. I think I’m practicing healthy moderation overall. So, why am I upset? What really bothers me is that I’m not getting an A+ at pregnancy weight gain. HOW WILL I EVER GET A PREGNANCY 4.0 NOW???? Dammit.

I’m trying not to be hung up on this, because I’m freaking hungry all the time. And when I’m hungry, I’m gonna eat. So…


Anyway, that’s what’s top of mind for me right now. Not eating all the things. And for the record, it is now 12 days after Halloween and we still have a giant plastic pumpkin full of candy in our house that I pretty much haven’t touched since then. That should count for something, right?

10 thoughts on “Packing on the el-bees.

  1. Sarah says:

    RIGHT there with you. I gained 10 pounds last month. Whoops! They haven’t given me “the talk” yet, but its definitely looking like I’ll gain more than the 25-35. My mom gained like 50+ and she lost it all within a month or two after birth. She’s also super thin and fit.

    ALSO also, I keep thinking I don’t LOOK like I’ve gained that much and then I realize my underwear are literally cutting off circulation around my hips, and I have a double chin. I made Tammy promise me no one would make turkey wattle jokes at Thanksgiving.

    • bustedoven says:

      Hahaha, yeah, occasionally I see a picture of myself and there’s a double chin and I’m like, “HMM, must’ve been a bad angle.” I think maybe I’m in denial that this 21 pounds hasn’t made me look chunkier… But seriously, the underwear. At a certain point it looked like I was trying to squeeze into child-sized underwear (originally I wrote that as “squeeze into a child’s underwear” but I think that would put me on some FBI watch list) and I had to give up and make a trip to Gap Body.

  2. I feel like that’s so normal – sticking to certain foods during pregnancy because that’s all that tastes good (hey, that’s where I’m at over in the first tri). I know it sucks to gain a lot, but seriously 40 lbs doesn’t sound that bad. I think my sister gained 60 or something but now she’s looking hot and lost most of it (and her baby is only 6 months). As long as you’re not ACTUALLY chugging maple syrup, I say you’re good.

    And pishaw. I have cereal every morning. Sugar is like the only thing making me happy right now.

  3. Emily says:

    Oh girl, SO there with ya! I don’t really know how much weight I’ve gained because of that pesky IVF weight that I refused to even weigh myself during. Ugh. I’m definitely 20 pounds heavier than my baseline. At least. And it sounds like you’re doing great with working out…not so much for me. Pregnancy is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I totally thought I would be all bump, no fat. Hmmm….

  4. Trust your body. You’re doing what you can to be healthy and give the baby what it needs – but it’s not all in your control now. START GETTING USED TO IT 😉 If the baby needs fries and grilled cheese and fudge bars – GIVE IT UP. And don’t feel guilty. The last few weeks of pregnancy weight gain sometimes levels out, too, FYI.

    • bustedoven says:

      I know, right? You’d think I would have learned during infertility that I’m not as in-control of my body as I thought. I guess that’s a lesson I have to keep re-learning! But yeah, part of the time I’m like, “I have to do all the things perfectly! Because PREGNANT!” and part of the time I’m like, “Whatever, I do what I want! Because PREGNANT!”

  5. elysium10 says:

    Your body knows what it needs – seriously, do not stress over the weight gain. As long as you are eating relatively healthy, you’re fine. I understand, though – I will cross the dreaded 200 mark, which I was really hoping not to. But at 35 weeks and 198, it’s gonna happen. :-/

    Nursing makes the weight loss much, much easier after pregnancy, from what I’m told. So just nurse until the kid is oh, 4 or so. 😉

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